Day 15: Looking for ways to break circular thinking patterns

Circular thinking is a pattern that's a bitch to break, it shores itself up, reinforces its negativity and generally leads to 'shit times'.

I've been in its grip for the last day or so, fighting desperately to escape while it claws and drags at me. It's almost like, after a fortnight of medication free positive thinking, my subconscious is trying to ruin everything. It feels as if a separate entity to myself is trying to gain control of my state of mind, I don't like that one little bit.

So how do I deal with it? Dwelling on it seems only to give it power, and ignoring it feels like I'm burying my head in the sand.

I suppose the first step is to identify the source. On this occasion it's the residuals of the last few days that have snuck in and poisoned me, my fear of driving my beloved away (though based purely on a misunderstanding that has subsequently been resolved) is making me feel scared of expressing anything that might be considered as 'down' thinking, the stress of trying not to be 'down' has the effect of - you guessed it - making me down.

How stupid is that? The answer is 'Very Stupid INDEED'

I need to look at this objectively; my worry is based on nothing, and my stress that being stressed will make things worse is just ridiculous, ridiculous, ridiculous.

Solutions: Head up, shoulders back, tell myself I'm worthwhile, take the time to make sure I believe myself. Breathe in and out, clear my head of poisonous rubbish. Don't let this derail the whole process, accept that there will be days like this, that sometimes irrationality will get the better of me, just don't dwell on it, move on when it's passed.

Still not bothering with the Scores today.