After a few days of wobble, I seem to be gaining control over my mental state once more. 'Confident Alex' is reasserting himself and I'm feeling loads better for it.
It's reassuring to know that I can come out of the other end of a glitch and feel like I'm in the same place as I was before I fell into it. I've managed to remain calm and good humoured all day, haven't felt the slightest bit embarrassed or self-conscious at work, and feel like I'm better liked as a result.
Unfortunately days like this don't make for particularly good entries (though I am sure my wife will kick my arse over this!!), it's typically British to say it, but difficulty is far easier to write about! I wonder why that is though? I wonder why we, as a nation, in the UK are so uninterested in the Good Stuff? We really don't care at all! It's so wrong and something that we'd be better off if we didn't do. That 'Stiff Upper Lip' thing has caused far more harm than good.
Well, I'm NOT ashamed to admit that certain things can leave me blubbing like a child, the ending of the recent Will Smith movie 'Seven Pounds' for instance, or this heartrending cartoon, or (most tear inducing of all, honestly I can't even THINK about it without starting to feel my eyes watering up) the final scene of the BBC version of Cassanova from a few years ago. Yes, these things are all thoroughly manipulative but if we can't allow ourselves to prod the side of our emotions that lead to great big man sobs then we're missing out.
Our British Reserve causes us to push these emotions down, to actually feel ashamed when we cry over something. How wrong is that? That we're embarrassed to be seen having an emotional response to an event that demands that emotional response? How much healthier would it be if we were able to embrace that we're human and have feelings? A good cry isn't something we should instinctively try to hide from those around us, and seeing someone who is crying shouldn't automatically make you feel uncomfortable and unable to work out what to do. Let people feel things, and be there to give them the support and solidarity they need.
So, to the scores -
The Good -
Got told by several people at work that they didn't believe I was 36, all of them placing me somewhere in my mid to late 20's. That I hadn't fished for it ('Hey! How old do you think I am? Go on! Tell me!! etc') made it feel a lot nicer.
Went up to the new flat and met a couple of the neighbours during a 'car parked in the wrong place' incident. Seem like very nice folk .
Might have some seriously good news soon, but can't write about it for several reasons far too boring to go into here.
The Bad -
You know what? I can't really think of any today
Tuesday, 20 January 2009
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2 comments:
wonders which bit of good news potential this might be
man, I cried at that comic twice - a while ago when i first seen it and there, when I knew exactly what was coming. I think its good that you realise that sometimes feeling bad is perfectly ok, whether that involves doubt, jealousy or just having a good old cry at a comic!
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