Day Four: my first real challenge

Today I faced the first proper challenge to my new way of thinking, and it came unexpectedly at work.

The day had started fine, again there was no ice on the windscreen of the car, and again I made good time along the M42 and M5. Even the radio didn't cut out too much (something I've since totally fixed by...er...pulling up the aerial) so I was able to listen to Today on Radio 4 with relatively few problems.

I started work on time, even feeling vaguely comfortable in the more formal wear I have to rock 3 days a week (which is good, considering I HATE wearing suits when I'm being told to). The day started quietly, no real drama, a slowly increasing trickle of calls, nothing out of the ordinary.

It was during lunch that things took a turn for the crappy. I'd been out to the car to call Kat (during which she'd booked my flight out there in February!) and then headed back in just before I was due to log back in for the afternoon. In the small café area most of the people who work in my area were sitting around, chatting during their lunch. I sat down next to one of them who immediately informed me that another had just finished slagging me off at volume to the entire group.

That his points were utterly ludicrous probably helped me not lose it. They were -

a) by being good at my job I am some kind of 'saddo'
b) my car breaking down on Saturday was a reflection on my worth as a human being
c) having my Satnav (GPS) on in the car when driving anywhere is, in some way, weird and probably indicates I'm too stupid to know the route home

Yeah, he totally burned me, eh?

Initially I was upset that some of the other people sitting there had joined in, people who I hadn't had any issues with, people who I'd never been less than friendly and polite to. It seemed so completely two faced of some of them. That they then acted in an extremely sheepish manner for the rest of the afternoon just made it worse.

I wanted to confront my colleague to start with, to tell him that he should speak to me if he's got an issue....but as the afternoon wore on and it became apparent that people I respected knew what had happened and thought the perpetrator was a dong I calmed down. Rising to it would solve nothing.

And slowly I started to realise that it reflected entirely on him and not at all on me. The things he was criticising were nothing less than totally stupid. So I put my head down for the rest of the afternoon and did the best job I could.

Kat further buoyed me up by reiterating how much bullshit the whole thing was, and how I should let it just slide right off.

So that's what I've done.

And without further ado, here are today's scores -

The Good -

I've managed 4 days in a row without any problematic wobbles. I've shrugged off a personal attack from a group of people with the minimum of upset, and I've moved forward from it.

The Bad -

woke up feeling a little twingy but it didn't last. Overall I'm finding it easier each day to deal with anything that's got the potential to spin me out.


Let's see if I can make it to the end of the week without a major spazz out.